Taboos are painful, touchy, intimate, difficult to discuss and politically incorrect. By holding the taboos of leadership up to the light, judging them for good or bad, exposing their myths and revealing their underlying truths, I hope to create a helpful and instructive description of leadership that will benefit leaders, their followers, and those who aspire to become one or both.

Why is this necessary? Because leadership is so poorly understood. Despite the fact that billions of dollars have been spent on leadership development by companies around the world, the results have been mixed. The reason is simple:

The biggest taboo of leadership by far is our unwillingness to examine what it really takes to lead! We’ve morphed the term leadership to include anyone who is relatively skilled at their job, holds a position of some authority, and has a modicum of charisma. We talk about servant leadership, influencing quietly, leading from the heart or by example, or passionate, irreverent or visionary leadership. We do not talk about the importance of power, intelligence, self-centeredness, political gamesmanship, double standards, insecurity, arrogance, competitive fire or manipulation. That would be way too much reality for most people’s tastes – an experience akin to looking at war photographs on the nightly news and seeing the terrible reality of violence up close. We prefer our leaders, like our movie stars, as idealized versions of who we want to be.

And yet, if we do not understand what leadership really takes, how can we possibly do a better job at identifying, developing, becoming and coaching leaders?

Anthony Smith is Co-Founder and a Managing Director of Leadership Research Institute and author ofThe Taboos of Leadership: 10 Secrets No One Will Tell You about Leaders and What They Really Think (Jossey-Bass, May 2007). His forthcoming book is ESPN: The Company (Jossey-Bass, September 2009). This article originally appeared in different form in his book, The Taboos of Leadership.