Is Work-Life Balance Worth Fighting For?

What makes an organization an employer of choice? So many people list “work-life balance” as one of the key knock-out factors. Like an elusive vision of an oasis in the desert, it radiates with simplicity and philosophical appeal. Some things are more important than work but what does “work-life balance” really mean? A source of much discussion and great frustration among employees, the idea of an organization with work-life balance doesn’t really stand up to scrutiny – it’s an oasis that will always exist on the distant horizon.

One shouldn’t despair – work-life balance may not be such a great idea anyway. The quest for it reminds me of Shel Silverstein’s wonderful story, “The Missing Piece.” Although written for children, it speaks most aptly to adults.

The story is about a circle with a wedge missing. Because of the missing piece, the circle can’t roll very fast. So it stops to smell the roses, look at the blue sky and drink iced mocha frappacinnos with good friends. But the circle does not feel complete so it continues rolling along looking for the piece it doesn’t have. It tries a number of shapes that don’t fit until – eureka! It finds a wedge that is just the right size!

Now the circle can roll very fast. This is fun, for a while, but eventually, the circle notices a downside: it no longer has time to smell the roses. Sadder and wiser, the circle takes out the wedge and goes back to its old ways, rolling along slowly – happy once more.

The moral is simple. Be careful what you look for; when you find it, you may not like the results. The same goes for work-life balance. An abstract concept, its meaning remains difficult to define. Like the idea of “customer service,” no two companies would describe it in the same way. For a retail worker, for example, work-life balance during the three months prior to Christmas would mean giving up 79% of the annual bottom line. For a financial planner, work-life balance in February or March would be a disaster. A manager or a doctor can’t keep things in balance when demands are high. Fire and police services need to put in overtime when necessary. Each company and each industry has its own natural rhythms and cycles. The idea of “balance” is a piece that doesn’t fit.

Try explaining that to employees who are being fed simplistic messages about balance by human resources “experts” and journalists. A scary thought – so I decided to do it. I was speaking with a focus group at one of the world’s best known pharmaceutical firms when the concept came up. “There’s no such thing as work-life balance,” I declared. “It’s a cruel joke perpetuated on us by well-meaning people.” They looked at me first with horror and then relief and a big smile – everyone knew it was true, but no one had said it aloud before. I told them a story. Once, I was in discussion with the CEO of a leading financial institution. He said that he could not understand why his HR people put a question about work-life balance onto a feedback survey. Work and life happen, he said. They are not always in sync nor predictable. So we have to realize there will be times when one comes before the other.

In fact, most of the time, work will come before life. This CEO said that when he sends an employee on the road for an important meeting, he expects the employee to be focused and involved in his work – not balanced. When the employee returns, he expects the manager to use good judgment and allow the employee some extra time for family, health or personal obligations. There doesn’t need to be a policy in place to ensure that the road trip is balanced by the half day off. It can’t be legislated. The confluence of personal issues, business priorities and yearly cycles are too unique. Ultimately, it’s about personal choice.

If a firm espouses “work-life balance” it needs to do so in a context that makes sense – otherwise it is setting up unreasonable and damaging expectations. If balance is a priority, it needs to be so not because of any ideas about social responsibility or retention but because it has a strategic or competitive pay-off. Here are some key considerations:

1. All companies and sectors are different. No right definition exists. You need to define it for yourself and your situation.
2. Don’t expect work-life balance just because the company says it is a priority. Look to the CEO and senior team to see how it is modeled.
3. The more senior you are, the less likely you will be able to choose when you can leave work behind.
4. Going to another firm will not change anything – change must be personal.
5. Recognize that going out on your own means the end of work-life balance period.
6. Balance does not mean mathematical equality. We need to be pragmatic and realistic about the formula.
7. It is more important to be defined by who you are not what you do. If you are not happy with who you are, don’t blame it on what you do!

As I write this article, I am off on another lengthy business trip away from my family. I enjoy the travel and what it represents – a full docket of work. More balance would be a negative not a positive. I think the same holds for many companies today. Before demanding a lesser load, we should think about Shel Silverstein’s story and consider whether the Missing Peace would really solve any of our problems.

David Cohen is president of Strategic Action Group and the author of Inside the Box: Leading with Corporate Values to Drive Sustained Business Success and The Talent Edge: A Behavioral Approach to Hiring, Developing, and Keeping Top Performers.