Unbound Ideas » Camille Smith

Get Good at Change: Things To Do (and un-do)

Camille Smith — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 13:11:59 +0000

Regardless of what business you are in, in today’s economic whirlwind, if you aren’t good at change and adapting, you are probably having a tougher time than those people who are. It’s time (actually, past time) to get good at change.

Here are some beginning steps:

1. Make a declaration. Say what you are committed to accomplishing. Don’t wait for your fears, concerns to subside. Be willing to step up, whatever that means for you. Make your commitment publicly; tell your staff. If you are a solo-preneur, tell a buddy. Find allies; invite others to join you with their declaration, tell the naysayers to … keep their conversation of no possibility to themselves.

2. Understand the inner workings of our resistance to change. We don’t like it, and we don’t want to get over not liking it. The Heath brothers, in their terrifically readable book, Switch, deliver on the book’s subtitle: how to change things when change is hard. With plenty of examples, they show how the combination of our Rider (logic), our Elephant (emotions) and the Path (way to goals) impact our ability to change. Clear business examples and steps to making change make this a must read. If you buy it and don’t like it, I’ll buy your copy from you. Seriously. (Read the first chapter of Switch, http://www.heathbrothers.com/switch/chapterone.php)

3. Get clear what is a fact and what is an interpretation. Clue: there are way fewer facts (“the truth is”) and way more interpretations at play. Continue generating the interpretations that empower you to be responsible and in action. Set aside the ones that have you spinning your wheels. If you want help sorting these out, call me.

4. Think locally, Act locally. Change what you can; don’t focus on what you can’t impact or influence (e.g., the oil spill in the Gulf). Stop reading emails that aren’t business-critical during business hours. Stop having hour-long staff meetings just because “that’s the way we do it here.” Make the short and focused. Start behaviors that take care of yourself and your people, the life blood of business. Send them home to rest and decompress.

The scramble to do whatever it takes to keep our businesses going through this downturn can not only blind us to taking effective action now, it can decrease our capacity to take effective action in the future when the economy turns around. Stop the scramble. Stop the madness. Building your capacity to authentically adapt will serve you regardless of the circumstances or economic swings.

Camille Smith understands what it takes to change at the individual, team and organizational levels. It’s not easy, it’s worth doing, and it’s required of everyone today, not just leaders. Specializing in transformational leadership, she provides the knowledge and coaching to teach others to create and sustain breakthroughs in performance. She doesn’t bring the answers, she brings them out of you. Reach her at camille@wipcoaching.com.

How Leaders Breathe Underwater

Camille Smith — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 21:40:59 +0000

Many (many) summers ago, when I was in training to be a lifeguard on New York’s Lake George, the first principle I learned was how to safely approach a swimmer in distress. A safe approach included talking to them, letting them know I was there to help them, and giving them instructions.

The second principle I learned was how to get out of harm’s way if I didn’t successfully execute the first principle. Good to know. If the victim locked his arms around my neck, my automatic moves were: my right arm over his arms, right hand under right side of his chin, strongly

push chin to right as my left hand pushed up on other arm, lower my head, swim down and away. Regroup, approach swimmer again, safely.

Then again, there’s always holding your breath. But, if you’re like me, you can’t do it for long enough for the hangers-on to let go. The “be caught and released” scenario was my out. (Fascinated with people who do seeming inhuman feats? David Blaine broke the Guinness world record for breath-holding by staying underwater for 17 minutes and 4 seconds on “The Oprah Winfrey Program.”)

A leader must learn to recognize when they have been put in a headlock by the circumstances and are being pulled under, away from their vision, away from leading. The leadership moves are: Put your right hand on your belly and breathe deeply 3 times, with your left hand strongly push your chair from the desk, raise your head, stand up and take 3 steps away from the riptide called your “not-done” list.

Regroup by answering: What is it I need to do this moment to be most effective? (Prioritize? Remake promises? Stop doing what is comfortable and do what’s needed? Request support from my colleagues? Call my coach?) Approach work again, safely, from being centered and focused. Disengaging from the never-ending riptide of circumstances will help you stay on the surface so you don’t have to learn how to breathe underwater.

Camille Smith understands what it takes to change at the individual, team and organizational levels. It’s not easy, it’s worth doing, and it’s required of everyone today, not just leaders. Specializing in transformational leadership, Camille provides the knowledge and coaching to teach others to create and sustain breakthroughs in performance. She doesn’t bring the answers, she creates them with you. Reach her at camille@wipcoaching.com.

Shushing is Passé. Speaking Up is In.

Camille Smith — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 14:30:09 +0000

Letter to editor SJ Mercury News re: article published Jan 25, 2010. “Kudos to AMC Cupertino Square 16 for giving autistic kids and parents an opportunity to enjoy watching movies. You set a great example of how to appropriately alter rules (let them talk during the movie, stand up, even touch the screen) to create an environment that lets people bring their whole self to what they do and not be “shushed” by “that’s not the way we do it around here.”

By designating a time and place that accommodates kids with different styles of communicating and interacting with their environment, you earned my Class Act Award. I’m sending the article to the leaders I coach with a note reading:

“How can you get even better at leveraging the diverse styles and talents around the table? Look outside your organization to see what’s possible for yours.” View Full Story

I admit the metaphor may be a stretch: going to movies is supposed to be fun/going to work isn’t, going to the movies is an escape from the real world/going to work is the real world. Or, maybe it isn’t such a stretch. (Note to self: jump on soapbox re: real vs. unreal world later.)

The questions mused from the back of the darkened theatre to the leaders on the stage remain: How well does your team and organization’s culture and environment encourage people to bring their all? Do your systems release, recognize, reward and develop the talent you hired? Just looking at revenues will not give you the answer to these questions. You have to ask your people, and you have to listen and believe the world they describe.

I recommend that before you speak with your team you answer the questions for yourself. Honestly. To support understanding your preferred styles of communication, decision making, and relationship to process, I offer a free assessment. Click on https://advisor.target-teams.com/assessment.php?ag=Z1HW490709 when you have 25-30 minutes of uninterrupted time and complete the questionnaire. To help ensure accuracy: complete all questions at one sitting, answer questions as they relate to work, answer questions without input from others. When you complete the survey, the report will come to me and I’ll forward it to you.

If you don’t create a theatre of high-performance and high-satisfaction, your people may be in their chairs, but their focus will be on the door marked EXIT.

Camille Smith understands what it takes to change at the individual, team and organizational levels. It’s not easy, it’s worth doing, and it’s required of everyone today, not just leaders. Specializing in transformational leadership, Camille provides the knowledge and coaching to teach others to create and sustain breakthroughs in performance. She doesn’t bring the answers, she creates them with you. Reach her at camille@wipcoaching.com.

The Opportunity of Mistakes: Positive Impact with Authentic Apologies

Camille Smith — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 23:54:04 +0000

Sports blogs are read 100 times more than leadership blogs. So I’m going with Mark McGwire’s apology to raise a leadership point. During the Bob Costa interview, McGwire admitted to his steroid use http://tinyurl.com/yhxqb87 — use he’d been denying for years, even under oath to Congress. I’ll let you call McGwire’s apology a ball or a strike in the zone of authenticity.

First, let’s all get off our high horses – give me a moment to dismount – and move beyond the ball park and into cubical land where most of us work. The mistake is not the point. The point is, when we make them, what do we do next? What’s the leadership move? What’s the impact

we have the opportunity to make after we recognize the mistake?

For the mistake-maker and the mistake-receiver, an authentic apology works, a lame one does not. The truth works, lies do not. You know this, I know this, we tell our kids this. Well, some of us tell our kids this. Others say “Lie, Baby, Lie.” Who are these Others? Execs at Hooker Chemical who created the infamous Love canal http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_Canal. Enron traders who called power plants to request power outages, (watch the movie, The Smartest Guys in the Room). Unfortunately, there are lots of Others to choose from. Take malpractice lawyers.

The overwhelming consensus among medical malpractice lawyers, when it comes to conflict resolution and mediation strategies, is to recommend silence when their physician clients are sued for a medical error, http://www.perfectapology.com/medical-malpractice.html. The leader of South Carolina’s Trial Lawyers Association sums up this conventional wisdom about medical apologies—”I would never introduce a doctor’s apology in court. It is my job to make a doctor look bad in front of a jury, and telling the jury the doctor apologized and tried to do the right thing kills my case.”

More than the case gets killed when the truth is intentionally concealed. And more than the case is revived when the truth is told. Read about the impact of a doctor’s apology on a patient he misdiagnosed http://tinyurl.com/2evph2.The patient was deeply touched; the doctor changed lab procedures to eliminate the same mistake in the future. That’s the impact I seek.

To authentically apologize, a person has to first take responsibility, not blame, for how they contributed to the mistake happening. Once this first step is taken, the next steps show up: speak to the people impacted by the mistake. Ask what can be done to correct the impact of the mistake. Listen and get it..

Leaders impact. An authentic apology has the possibility to examine ‘how we do things around here” and how we treat each other. That’s the point. That’s what’s possible when people lead themselves first.

Camille Smith understands what it takes to change at the individual, team and organizational levels. It’s not easy, it’s worth doing, and it’s required of everyone today, not just leaders. Specializing in transformational leadership, Camille provides the knowledge and coaching to teach others to create and sustain breakthroughs in performance. She doesn’t bring the answers, she creates them with you. Reach her at camille@wipcoaching.com.

Challenge: Trade a transactional conversation for a transformational one

Camille Smith — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 15:09:48 +0000

Huge topic. Let’s start with a situation: An employee who doesn’t report to you asks that you keep the following in confidence. Their performance review is overdue by 4 months. The employee anticipates a pay raise which is needed due to their spouse’s working hours reduced due to forced furloughs. They also want to know if they are doing Ok or not. If not, what to improve. They think they are performing well, but without feedback, doubt is being to creep in. A pending lawsuit has resurfaced with newspaper visibility puling leader, their manager, into many meetings with different constituents; the organization’s board chair recently resigned; lack of funds may close organization within 6 months. The employee asked for the review 2 months ago and now does not how to approach manager. The employee does not want to show up as greedy, self-serving or add stress to manager; they love their job and how they are managed.

Your move. Will you advise them to have a transactional or the transformational conversation? The transactional track is easy, here’s what you say to the employee: Email boss with dates, facts and say you will forward this email to HR if review doesn’t happen within 5 days. Steve Roesle r gives us these distinctions: Transactional conversations keep things as they are. Transformational conversations

move people outside the boxes in which they’ve placed themselves and others. Yes, there are times when a transactional conversation is appropriate. I invite you to consider that a transformational conversation can accomplish the task and build trusting relationships in the process.

In the situation I’ve described, the transformational track may look something like this: You begin by asking the employee to separate (distinguish) what he thinks/imagines/fears might/could happen (i.e., add to manager’s stress) as his interpretation, not a fact. (To d this, you need to know this distinction.) You ask what he wants to accomplish in the long run in his relationship with the manager (his commitment) and in the short run (a legit performance review). You continue with action steps: Have a f2f (not email) conversation in which you acknowledge current situation and how you have held back in asking for the review. Take responsibility for not speaking up. Remind the employee to have an appreciation for what the manager may feel (guilt) and to not adopt the imagined feelings. Formulating a specific, clear request for the review may be necessary (the review to happen by a certain date).

Caveat: Do not “do” the steps above to anyone. Transformation is not a technique or parlor game it is a way of ‘being’, where you are coming from. There is a technology (methodology) associated with it: ontology, which you can learn.I invite you to take it on. Your world will never be the same, happily and outrageously satisfying and productively so.

OR:::: Camille Smith understands what it takes to change at the individual, team and organizational levels. It’s not easy, it’s worth doing, and it’s required of everyone today, not just leaders. Specializing in transformational leadership, she provides the knowledge and coaching to teach others to create and sustain breakthroughs in performance. She doesn’t bring the answers, she brings them out of you. Reach her at camille@wipcoaching.com.

The Ultimate Leadership FAQ & Answer

Camille Smith — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 21:59:19 +0000

Whether CEO, CFO, employee, spouse, spouse-ette, baker man, thief – we all want to know: How can I make him/her/them behave differently, the way I want them behave? The answer: You can’t, they must. OK, you saw that coming.

So, let’s rephrase the FAQ: How do you influence someone to change their behavior?

Answer: Obey the First Law of Performance, articulated by my past colleague Steve and Dave. How people perform correlates to how situations occur to them. Steve and Dave: “Consider that when we do something, it always makes complete sense to us. On the other hand, when others do something, we often question, “Why are they doing that? It doesn’t make any sense!” But, if we got into the world of the person [into their head], and looked at how the situation occurred to them, [Being John Malkovich, trailer] we would experience that the same actions that we were questioning were completely and absolutely the perfect and correct thing for him to do, given how the situation is occurring to the person.”

Knowing the First Law, you can probably answer The Ultimate Leadership FAQ. Give it a try. I’ll push the pause-blog button …. [Musak for 9 seconds] … Yes, you are right! To change someone’s behavior, change how the world occurs to them. Change how the world occurs and their actions change to match the new world view. Bingo!

That was easy. So the Real Ultimate Leadership FAQ is: How do you change someone’s “occurring world”?

The answer: Change where their world occurs. It occurs in the conversation they have about the world (situation, other people, sales targets, deadlines, frozen budgets, new competitors, you name it). It’s the conversation, Silly! Create a conversation that creates a new world occurring — a conversation that the person now generates for themselves, and lives inside of. Simple and profound. Welcome to leadership.

Camille Smith understands what it takes to change at the individual, team and organizational levels. It’s not easy, it’s worth doing, and it’s required of everyone today, not just leaders. Specializing in transformational leadership, she provides the knowledge and coaching to teach others to create and sustain breakthroughs in performance. She doesn’t bring the answers; she brings them out of you. Reach out to her at camille@wipcoaching.com.

Shake, Rattle & Roll: Listening outside the box

Camille Smith — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 18:39:41 +0000

Do you need to re-ignite yourself in these days of 100 inputs to produce 2 outputs? Turn up the volume!

If you consider yourself curious, creative and innovative (or want to demonstrate more of those qualities), listen not just to the music, but to the musician – the leader generating the sounds that move you.

Let’s start with less is more – as in Les Paul is more than a legendary guitarist. Considered a pioneer in the development of the solid-body electric guitar which made the sound of rock and roll possible and credited with recording innovations, including overdubbing, tape delay, phasing effects, and multi-track recording, Les lead himself first as he describes playing with arthritic fingers, “learn(ing) in a hurry to live with and overcome obstacles”. For today’s “lead yourself first” lesson (and at the risk of having you not return to read the rest of this post), please listen as Terry Gross interviews Les Paul, guitar hero who recently passed. Hear his verve at http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=111888401.

Want the classical approach? There’s Roger Nierenberg, former conductor of the Stamford Symphony and creator of The Music Paradigm. “Being on the podium affords the global view of the lights and shades that were there, already playing, but you didn’t hear.” Roger will be at the October 2009 GILD. I cried during his keynote last year. Join me for at best leadership immersion program on the planet, email me to take advantage of a 2-for-1 offer.

My point? Shake up your listening. Rattle your own box. Roll into a new future by listening for the inspiration around you, especially coming from your team. Keep the box, use it when it works. When it doesn’t serve you, step beyond it to achieve new possibilities for yourself, as a leader, and your team, as a team of leaders.

Camille Smith understands what it takes to change at the individual, team and organizational levels. It’s not easy, it’s worth doing, and it’s required of everyone today, not just leaders. Specializing in transformational leadership, she provides the knowledge and coaching to teach others to create and sustain breakthroughs in performance. She doesn’t bring the answers, she brings them out of you. Reach out to her at camille@wipcoaching.com.

Is not saying something a lie?

Camille Smith — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 02:29:39 +0000

What do you say? Yes? No? This statement screamed from an ad in the September issue of Fast Company (www.fastcompany.com). I ripped it out (love ripping and tearing) and marked it with a “B” (code for a blog topic). (The pages of my books are peppered with these breadcrumbs as I follow my interests in “V” for values, “L” for leadership, “R” for relationship, “M” for measures, etc. Got codes?)

The company asking “Is not saying something a lie?” is a bank, the Ally Bank. I am not plugging them. I am plugging the question they ask. Great questions lead to great thinking. Answers often limit it.

Want to see TV’s answer? Go to http://www.fox.com/lietome. Want mine?

It is Absolutely “it depends”. What I do or do not say depends on the context, the situation and my commitment – and all that hinges on my perception.

Here’s a proverb from my Irish friend, MJ: “She put the lie in my mouth.” Meaning, when someone offers you a reason for something you did/didn’t do and asks if that’s the reason and you say “yes”, even though what the person offered isn’t your real, swear-on-the-blarney stone, cut-off-The-Guinness, reason … it’s a lie. For example, let’s say a person’s face is bruised from a nose job and the other person says: “Were you in an accident?” If the bruised person says “Yes,” the person with a new nose lied.

The ad goes on to say: “In banking, there’s profit and there’s integrity. It shouldn’t be a choice between the two.” Ah, there’s the magic word, integrity: the state of being complete, of being sound and undamaged; the quality of possessing and steadfastly adhering to high moral principles or professional standards. And much of that, if not all that, hinges on perception. Mine, if we’re talking about me, yours, if we’re talking about you, which I hope you are doing right now.

Coming from “it depends” requires thinking, judgment, assessing, considering. It requires taking a stand on what you say is important. Leave the black/white, yes/no to the law. For leadership, I say, come from “it depends”.

Do you subscribe to “Seeing is believing”? Go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3f-WPrKnRU, see Criss Angel, the beLIEve, magician, suck your eyeballs out of their sockets. If you want to see how he creates this magic, go to(www.youtube.com/watch?v=gu0G6NWQeM4). Hum, would it have been a lie if I had NOT given you the link to the reveal?

So when is not saying something a lie? When the information I withhold gives me an edge over you and reduces your success or effectiveness, I lie. When I know that the information I withhold benefits me because I withhold it, I lie. I say these are lies because they are not consistent with my commitment to support another’s success. They are lies because I say so, not because the police could arrest me.

From time to time, I lie. When I catch myself, I have the opportunity to pick up my integrity and come clean. Good thing Pinocchio’s nose job was fiction. Otherwise, I’d be holding my long my nose up, as well as my integrity.

Camille Smith understands what it takes to change at the individual, team and organizational levels. It’s not easy, it’s worth doing, and it’s required of everyone today, not just leaders. Specializing in transformational leadership, she provides the knowledge and coaching to teach others to create and sustain breakthroughs in performance. She doesn’t bring all the answers to you; she brings them out with you. Reach her at camille@wipcoaching.com.

Boomers & GenY Share Same Bed (of values)

Camille Smith — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 19:54:43 +0000

I take it all back. Well, some of it, anyway. In my last blog (“Millennials are Not Younger Boomers”), I made the case that what Millennials value, think important and can’t do without, is different from what Boomers cherish. Next day, I receive another intelligence report from HBR (http://harvardbusiness.org; July-Aug 09), How Gen Y & Boomers Will Reshape Your Agenda, with the tag line: Your oldest and youngest talent cohorts demand many of the same things in a workplace.

What? We like the same things? Shut-Up! (OK, this expression of surprise still sounds odd to me.) Sure, I felt younger by the minute as I read about how much I had in common with the younger-something’s. I felt older by the word as I, once again (and not for the last time), had to rethink yesterday’s well-reasoned view. [Sidebar: Rethinking is the new pink in 2009, replacing the know-it-all orange of 2008. The Good News Tip for 2010 and beyond: Thinking will not go out of style, like color. More about rethinking in future blogs, for now, it’s back to the shared bed.]

As it turns out, both the Millennials and I like flexible work arrangements and the opportunity to give …

… give back to society, that is. The authors, (find them at www.worklifepolicy.org), conclude that this synchronicity of viewpoints creates a new “center of gravity for human resources management”. Meaning, companies need to rethink how they relate to their workforce because the GenYs and the Boomers may pull the work place environment into a similar orbit, the one that matches their shared values.

But don’t let this shared value revelation blind you. We still must pause (and care) to ask and not assume what the value means to each person, regardless of age or anything. A GenYer and I may both say ‘giving back’ is important, but, what it means and how we go about fulfilling it can look very different.

One of my giving backs is the Global Women’s Leadership Network (www.gwln.org), dedicated to developing the leadership capacity of women who dare to transform the future of their organizations, communities, and the world. A GenY may want to swing a hammer for Habitat for Humanity. That’s cool. My point is we can share the same value bed, as long as we each say what our side of the bed means to us. As for the HR management team, it’s their job to figure out how to give us the ability to adjust the firmness of our respective side of the corporate mattress so we both feel supported and can give our all at work and all over. One side does not fit all.

I like that I share values with GenY. It kinda makes me feel young, not like I feel old, mind you. I got a new burst of youth watching the National Senior Games at Stanford this weekend (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aytfWYT1-yQ.). The Boss just turned 60 (http://www.aarpmagazine.org/entertainment/bruce_springsteen.html).

Camille Smith understands what it takes to change at the individual, team and organizational levels. It’s not easy, it’s worth doing, and it’s required of today’s leaders and their workforce. Specializing in transformational leadership, she provides the knowledge and coaching to teach others to create and sustain breakthroughs in performance. She can be reached at camille@wipcoaching.com.

Millennials are Not Younger Boomers

Camille Smith — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 13:50:11 +0000

What’s ur carbon date? U know ur old when your dentist doesn’t know what carbon paper is. U know ur old when you say ‘true dat’ to the 20-something you are trying to impress and they get a nostalgic look in their eye and say “wow, I haven’t heard that in years!” U know ur old when your audience doesn’t laugh at a promise to “mimeograph that to all staff on Monday.”

I am a card-carrying Boomer and proud of it. If I get too proud, however, and blinded by my own sage light, the Millennials will move on and I’ll be left in my own dust, having not connected or been respected. A Boomer Bummer, big time.

We boomers need to get over ourselves and get on with partnering with the Millennials. Why? Start the list. #1: We need their new thinking and world view to solve problems we’ve created in our environments – the environment within our corporations and the one on the planet. This may be on the only item we need on the list.

Lisa Orrell, www.theorrellgroup.com, the generation expert, author of Millennials Incorporated, and my co-facilitator of Transitioning to Leadership Program: How to Effectively Move Your GenY Employees Into Leadership Roles (for program info, www.wipcoaching.com), reminds me that “the Millennials are not young boomers, they see work and themselves in very different light.”

During a recent panel Lisa moderated on the topic of Working with Millennials at Cisco for the www.Fountainblue.biz series, When She Speaks, a Women in Leadership Series, the following was revealed: Millennials are energetic with a ton of ideas and a direct, assertive style in communicating them, without necessarily following established business etiquette or without (or even knowing they need to) respecting the chain-of-command expectations (e.g., they may speak to top management over or before their direct bosses). They are globally-minded and techno-savvy, leveraging social media tools (YouTube, FaceBook, Twitter) to build their networks and knowledge.

They are used to multi-tasking (texting during meetings, committing to many work and life projects and juggling multiple priorities), to confidently speaking what’s on their mind (directly communicating their goals and objectives), and to being global in their interests and connections. In addition to these strengths, a noted weakness is that many Millennials are more interested in generating ideas than in seeing them through to results and conclusions, often distracted by the next idea.

What’s are we Boomers to do? I say Adopt a Millennial. That’s my 09 project. Anyone interested? I am accepting applications now. Tell me what you want to learn in the domain of leadership and I’ll mentor you to succeed. In exchange, you teach me about your world. True dat.

Camille Smith understands what it takes to change at the individual, team and organizational levels. It’s not easy, it’s worth doing, and it’s required of today’s leaders. Specializing in transformational leadership, she provides the knowledge and coaching to teach others to create and sustain breakthroughs in performance. She can be reached at camille@wipcoaching.com.

Eggshells and Jell-O: Not a leader’s diet

Camille Smith — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 16:28:15 +0000

Disclaimer: I wanted one, badly, but I have none. As I started this blog, I spent an hour writing a caveat that would protect me from you and your potentially challenging points of view. After all, once the blog is out there, it is fair game and so am I. My draft disclaimer started out “I may change my mind at any moment, but for now, I think…” and then I continued with some mumbo-gumbo, blah-blah. How nuts is that? How un-blog like! How un-leaderly!

Seeing the folly of my ways, I led myself out of my self-induced blog-fog. I looked at my concerns (being rejected, not seen as being smart enough), then called up my commitments (to connect and learn), then I chose. I chose to act from my commitments, let my concerns embolden my actions, rather than stop them. Thus, the title and theme of my blogs is (until I change it, which I could do at any moment, just so you know): lead yourself first.

Eggshells and Jell-O: The Un-breakfast of Champions

Leadership isn’t timid-ship.

If you are walking on eggshells with someone, afraid to raise an issue, give it up. If you’re hoping that she (let’s call her Sally) gets your wobbly-as-jello hints and changes her behavior, give it up. If you don’t (and you do have free will), you are giving up your ship, your leadership.

What is the “it” that you have to give up? Your current behavior. It’s not Sally who has to change, it’s you. To give up your behavior, redesign your current view and opinion of Sally and yourself and generate what matters to you.

This is good news. It’s good news because you have the possibility of changing your point of view. You can’t change Sally’s. Question? Yes, in the back, I see your raised hand (with the other one texting). Yes, you absolutely can create an opportunity for Sally to change. I think this is a leader’s accountability. Sally has to generate the change for herself for it to stick. Ok, we know all this. Yet, leaders that we are, from time to time, we walk on eggshells, skirting and shirting (equal opportunity of slamming) issues that drain energy and draw down performance.

Rather than enter the dark ‘why-do-I-have-Jell-O-for-arch-supports’ tunnel, let’s stay in the light. Ask yourself: If I am not holding Sally to account, where am I not holding myself to account? (Recognize the adage “I won’t call you on your stuff so you won’t call me on mine”?) Get your own integrity in (and that doesn’t mean do everything on your list), get clear on the cost of not holding Sally to account, and then act from what you are committed to. Lead yourself first, then Sally.