In one group, the people embraced a very similar philosophy and mindset on the proposed topic. The other group was filled with people who represented very different perspectives, viewpoints and backgrounds.

I gained a lot from both experiences, but after a while, I became very bored with the similar group. They definitely had every viewpoint from A to B well represented, but beyond that, it was hard to find any value. Unfortunately, we didn’t make much progress in accomplishing our purpose.

The diverse group challenged my thinking. There were view points represented that were difficult for me to comprehend because they were so different than my own. The meeting participants were energetic and courteous. They were not afraid to have their views questioned or examined by the others. They were very open to learning from the other group members.

Understanding Others

I thoroughly enjoyed the meeting with this diverse group and I left with a healthy appreciation and affection for each member. I never felt challenged to change my values, and as a result, I felt safe to open my mind to new ideas. It was a wonderful opportunity for me to examine the beliefs of others. Instead of judging them, I suspended my previous assumptions and allowed myself to see what they see. Because I was willing to extend this courtesy to them, they returned the favor to me.

I discovered that even though my values and opinions remained basically the same, my influence with these new friends increased. This dramatically affected our ability to work together. As a result, we made significant progress on our common interests.

Authentic Leadership

My experiences with these two groups reminded me a of something my brother Larry taught me. Whenever we disagreed, he would say, “if we were all the same, there would be no need for all of us”.

This statement continues to guide my work. I understand that I am most effective when I surround myself with people who think and act much differently than I do. My association with friends of different opinions creates many opportunities to stretch my way of thinking.

Great leaders do not fear the fringes or the edges. They recognize that by creating space for all voices to be heard, they become an authentic agent of chang. Because their influence is felt, their leadership is more highly regarded. When the point of decision arrives, they are seen as credible and trustworthy.

The Big Picture

Just because we learn to view things from a larger perspective, does not mean that we must abandon our values, it simply means that we learn to see what is going on in the complete system. When we do this, we create solutions that accelerate growth and development.

I realize that it is difficult to suspend our beloved biases and judgments, but it can be done without losing our individual identity. I invite you to consider the following questions:

How willing are you to consider view points that are different from your own?

What benefits come from stretching to see the perspectives of others?

How do you feel when someone takes the time to see things as you see them?

Remember, the real point of leadership is not to change others, but to enroll them in a collaborative effort to achieve a common goal. You are free to draw the line in your personal values, most of us even expect you to do so and respect you when you do. When we become secure in who we are, we become more free opening ourselves up to others, and that is when your effectiveness really soars.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn
760-559-3548

Seeing the folly of my ways, I led myself out of my self-induced blog-fog. I looked at my concerns (being rejected, not seen as being smart enough), then called up my commitments (to connect and learn), then I chose. I chose to act from my commitments, let my concerns embolden my actions, rather than stop them. Thus, the title and theme of my blogs is (until I change it, which I could do at any moment, just so you know): lead yourself first.

Eggshells and Jell-O: The Un-breakfast of Champions

Leadership isn’t timid-ship.

If you are walking on eggshells with someone, afraid to raise an issue, give it up. If you’re hoping that she (let’s call her Sally) gets your wobbly-as-jello hints and changes her behavior, give it up. If you don’t (and you do have free will), you are giving up your ship, your leadership.

What is the “it” that you have to give up? Your current behavior. It’s not Sally who has to change, it’s you. To give up your behavior, redesign your current view and opinion of Sally and yourself and generate what matters to you.

This is good news. It’s good news because you have the possibility of changing your point of view. You can’t change Sally’s. Question? Yes, in the back, I see your raised hand (with the other one texting). Yes, you absolutely can create an opportunity for Sally to change. I think this is a leader’s accountability.  Sally has to generate the change for herself for it to stick.  Ok, we know all this. Yet, leaders that we are, from time to time, we walk on eggshells, skirting and shirting (equal opportunity of slamming) issues that drain energy and draw down performance.

Rather than enter the dark ‘why-do-I-have-Jell-O-for-arch-supports’ tunnel, let’s stay in the light. Ask yourself: If I am not holding Sally to account, where am I not holding myself to account? (Recognize the adage “I won’t call you on your stuff so you won’t call me on mine”?)  Get your own integrity in (and that doesn’t mean do everything on your list), get clear on the cost of not holding Sally to account, and then act from what you are committed to. Lead yourself first, then Sally.

Camille Smith understands what it takes to change at the individual, team and organizational levels. It’s not easy, it’s worth doing, and it’s required of today’s leaders. Specializing in transformational leadership, she provides the knowledge and coaching to teach others to create and sustain breakthroughs in performance. She can be reached at camille@wipcoaching.com